Financial Infidelity: did You Fall Prey to it?

What is financial infidelity?

Among adults who have combined finances, a poll found 43% of adults confessed to having committed some form of financial deception or financial infidelity, according to CNBC.

Simply put, financial infidelity is the act of lying to your spouse about finances. That could include hiding purchases, incurring credit card debt, taking out loans, gambling, hiding one's income and expenses, keeping secret accounts, hoarding cash, without the other spouse knowing.

Why is it dangerous to marriage?

It is a huge breach of trust, and the hurdle it puts on your marriage is difficult to overcome. The spouse on the receiving end is inevitably thinking, "if you are lying about this, what else are you lying to me about"? It puts a huge strain in your marriage and, if not overcome, often ends in divorce.

If your spouse is not transparent about his/her income and spending, you could be facing financial repercussions nevertheless. Your spouse's debt can become your debt because you are married. It can hurt your credit scores. If you are leading a lavish lifestyle, but your income is average, then how is it being financed? Your ignorance could be treated as "willful blindness" and you can be held responsible. In other words, what you don't know can hurt you.

Who is at risk?

Unfortunately, nobody is immune to this. It is nort restricted to social status, age, race, gender or education level. The more uninterested, denied access to, or relieved you are by handing over financial responsibilities to your partner, the bigger your chances that financial infidelity is ocurring. Your chances of being cheated upon increase if your spouse is a narcissist, greedy, has a drug/alochol/gambling/shopping and other addictions.

Red flags and how to recognize it?

• your spouse does not share how much she/he is making

• there could be changes in behavior, such as hightened secrecy

• changes in lifestyle

• unexplained changes in behavior

• evading money topics when asked

• signing off on tax returns and not sharing it with the spouse

• receiving credit card bills or bank statements you did not know exist

• working extra job or hours with nothing to show for it

• you no longer have or never had access to financial records

• mail is being rerouted to the P.O.Box or office

• they unexplainedly have less or a lot more money

• unexplained bank withdrawals

How do you protect yourself against it?

Communication is key. Start talking about money. Make it a point to sit down and to review bank statements, paycheck stubs, credit card and other bills, life insurance policies, mortgage statements, and so on, every month. Review your assets and debts, and income taxes at least once a year. Discuss if you are on tack to reaching your financial goals and check for inconsistencies.

If your spouse point blank refuses to reconcile your finances, you may want to talk to a forensic accountant, financial advisor or at least a therapist to start. The longer you ignore the problem, the more likely the problem will turn from a snowball to an avalanche.